Stupid July 4

We didn’t fight for our independence, we earned it through legislation following genocide (almost, anyway). I can’t appreciate it. What I can do is be annoyed because I rather wanted to see the bears attack after Detroit’s sales were posted (which, I realise, is why they would do it on a half-day before an off-day).

I can also be driving mad by moronic fireworks this evening, as I’m sure I shall. What are we, cavemen? I have fire and television, cigarette lighters, nightclubs and drugs; flashy lights and BANG! noises really don’t impress me. The needle exchange programmes that fireworks money could have funded, that would have impressed me.

I also cannot forgive fireworks for the effect they have on animals. This might be something you need a house and a backyard with terrified dogs and cats to appreciate properly. If you want your world to sound like an infantry division is coming down the road, go and bloody enlist. They could use you. Leave the rest of us the peace and quiet.

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