From the islands of Fiji

Rushing for the bus back out (turtle moved successfully, although a potential adopter has come along), I grabbed a bottle of Fiji water – not something I’ve gotten, previously. For purchasing bottled water I have a preference for Evian (Volvic is also good, but not an American-found water). My wife and I (more my wife – she drinks more water, but is also better at this) tend to re-use bottles to death.

Reading its label, as I sought to determine why it was so popular with the types of people sufficient to make it sound like Water for Wankers, I discovered the following, mind-blowing attempt at marketing (a similar passage can be found at their website):

The purest water comes from the purest clouds. Our rainfall is purified by trade winds as it travels thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean to the islands of Fiji. A continent away from acid rain and other pollutants, FIJI Water is preserved and protected by one of the last virgin ecosystems on Earth.

Then we went into that last virgin ecosystem! And took its water! And put it in bottles we had made in China and flown to us (bottles that use 6.74 times more water to construct and transport than you just drank – but it was only water Chinese people would have drunk from a tap, or something. Morons), then flew it back across thousands of miles of Pacific Ocean! Enjoy.

So. I believe I hate Fiji water, and the people who bottle the stuff. It does taste nice, though.


1 comment so far

  1. gninja on

    Unsurprising. I think bottled-water advertising is some of the most deceptive advertising out there. Anyway, Fiji water bottles are awkwardly shaped.

    “Poland Spring® Brand Natural Spring Water is proud to be part of the Nestlé Waters North America family of companies, who believe corporate responsibility is more than just good business – it’s a bond we share with the communities in which we live and serve. We strive to be an exemplary corporate citizen, an active member and friend in the more than 100 communities where we have operations. When it comes to being a part of community spirit and during times of emergencies, the words in our Good Neighbor Policy really come to life.”

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